(no subject)

[neededforger]

Eames could have gone back to Mombasa, he knew he could have, and he could have gone right back to what he'd been doing when Cobb came to find him. But he'd decided not to, after all, it had been a while since he'd been stateside, and he didn't have anyone breathing down his neck (yet) and it had also been a while since he'd gone to visit his mum, so he figured he'd stick around for a while, do some sightseeing.

The first thing to do, after debarking, and being careful not to pay attention to any of his compatriots, at least not actively, and never with more than the faint, gentle recognition of people who'd just spent more time in a plane together than most people spent together at work in a day. He paged through his phone, checking his funds, not at all surprised to find that Saito was a man of his word, and they'd already been paid.

The next thing he did, while waiting for his checked baggage to come around on the carousel, was to check mid-range hotels in the area, looking for one that had a week's vacancy at such short notice, since that was the minimum he was going to need to wait for the world to settle again and start looking for another job. Booking didn't take long either, which he was pleasantly surprised by.

That evening he found himself in the restaurant down the block from the hotel, enjoying a celebratory steak dinner, and collecting details. The way that woman folded her hands, the way that man held his knife and fork, the way the bartender smiled at one of the waitresses. Each of these, and others, were stored away for later perusal, practice, and eventual use. He didn't always have to forge someone in particular, sometimes he just had to be a person other than who he was, background, security and observation and those little details could make or break a character.

Comments

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

He shrugged, "Or we can just sit here and stare at each other, I suppose, though that's likely to get awfully boring awfully fast." He wasn't sure, really, why he kept pushing, especially when he knew it was a bad idea. But he kept at it anyway, because he'd already started and things were probably going to turn out the same either way, so he saw no reason to stop, "Then again, I never really had a problem with staring at you before."

[littlspecificty]

"Yes. Because saying things like that will make me feel infinitely more comfortable while being trapped in an elevator with you."

He ended up sitting in a corner, as far away from Eames as he could get. Knees propping up his elbows and wearing a plain scowl and still soaking wet from the rain he had ran through just minutes earlier. [And for the record, he was not sulking. Goddammit.]

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

"Funny, never seemed to bother you before, it was always 'you've got my left ear wrong' and I'm still not sure how you could tell since you can't see your own left ear and I certainly can." HE realized, dimly, that he was babbling and should probably shut up, but now that he'd started talking, he was finding it increasingly difficult to stop, "I've still got most of the drawings, you know, squirreled away somewhere, just in case anyone ever needs proof that you really aren't a robot."

[littlspecificty]

Arthur had mainly done that just to antagonize Eames, even though he had actually been flattered by him doing such a thing. The fact that he also had a talent for it made it even more touching, in a way.

Arthur wanted to say 'things change' but he couldn't really make himself say anything at all. Not just because it would only sound stupid if he said it but he knew it would be a contradiction if not outright lie because he had kept the sketches he had taken from Eames' note books on occasion and still had the new one he had sketched that morning in his pocket. So, he just remained silent. Still turning over his conversation with Dom in the back of his mind.

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

"Actually had one of them framed." He continued, apparently taking Arthur's silence as encouragement, or, more likely, he hadn't really given the other man a chance to interject yet, "Must have been during the Mercer job, since you were at that roll-top desk." He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment, "Lord you hated that desk."

Eames remembered offering to take it out back and shoot it, if it would make Arthur feel better, but of course he'd declined.

[littlspecificty]

Arthur ended up bowing his head down while interlacing his hands between his bent knees. He closed his eyes and wished that he could stop remembering every thing that Eames was bringing up.

It made him angry. It made him frustrated. It made him fucking hurt.

He hated Eames right then. Acting as if it had been so wonderful and why had they ever stopped...

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

He huffed a laugh, shaking his head and leaning back against his corner, "I offered to put it down for you, put you both out of your misery." A faint, almost wistful smile, shaking his head again, "Said you'd rather deal with the desk than disturbing the neighbors."

He did finally shut up then, giving another head shake, voice having dipped a little, "But I suppose things change, don't they?"

[littlspecificty]

At hearing the last part, Arthur felt something in him snap. And without even thinking it over, he just said it. Finally looking at him, the look hard and even accusing,"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?"

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

His brow furrowed then, not entirely sure what Arthur was asking, mostly because as far as Eames could tell, he wasn't acting any differently than he ever did, and so he asked: "Do you mind clarifying that a bit?

[littlspecificty]

That only seemed to make Arthur more angry.

"Talking about shit and acting like you want what we had again!" As if it was obvious. [Granted, not one of his more articulate or eloquent moments but Arthur wasn't really caring about that right now.]

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

Eames' brow furrowed further at that, not so much at the hostility as at the statement itself. He shook his head again, "Why wouldn't I? Was one of the best years of my life and it ended far too soon."

A shrug then, shifting himself more comfortably into his corner, "Maybe I'm just being a sentimentalist, forget it."

[littlspecificty]

Arthur huffed out a laugh, but there was no mirth in it. Shaking his head, "That is such bullshit."

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

Eames' jaw set, just for a moment, and his brow quirked a moment later, "Arthur?" He leveled a look at the other man, "Have I ever lied to you about something like this? Not counting Kiev." Since that hadn't really been lying to Arthur so much as it had been lying to their client about Arthur and the nature of their relationship.

[littlspecificty]

Arthur leveled his own look at Eames, not a glare, but a look that spoke of how he believed what he said. "You were the one who didn't want it anymore, Eames. So, no, I don't believe you when you say that."

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

That just confused him further, studying Arthur for a moment and finding him increasingly difficult to read, though he could blame that on the tension, "I didn't? Funny, I don't remember that. What I recall is waking up to a note on the kitchen table saying that you'd gone, you wouldn't be coming back, and you'd shoot me if I followed you. Forgive me for deciding that I'd rather not be full of holes." He added, dryly.

Of course, that didn't negate the fact that he'd gone off somewhere where Arthur couldn't easily follow him, but he'd needed time to lick his wounds, so to speak.

[littlspecificty]

Arthur continued to give Eames that look, "Yeah, I left before you could." Shaking his head and turning his eyes away from Eames, not giving him the opportunity to read Arthur any easier than he probably was, "You grew bored. Got distant. You were always more demonstrative than I was, you think I wouldn't notice when that happened? I could just feel things growing stale... and you kept taking more and more jobs to keep you away, wherever you were. Postcards got less and less frequent, even on "run of the mill" jobs... Right when I was starting to feel..." Shaking his head again, "I wish you just would have told me instead of just dragging it out. I got tired of waiting for you to just say it. And no, I didn't want you to follow me and try to give me your bullshit excuses like you always did."

Arthur didn't know where all of that came from but it just came out. Guess it really had been building up all this time... Too bad he didn't feel any better for saying it. It probably wouldn't do any good at all and just prove that Arthur was as weak as he felt right then to admitting any of that.

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

"I didn't realize the postcards meant anything to you. They were always shuffled off into a drawer somewhere by the time I got back. I must have mis-read. Thought you saw them as an annoyance." His voice had dipped again, tone still conversational, but quieter than before, "And I was taking more jobs at the time because they were being offered. Not everyone needs a forger, we're hardly an integral part of most jobs, and I like the work, but more than that, I like knowing I'll be able to get through another dry patch without having to resort to old methods."

[littlspecificty]

"Consistency is what matters to me, Eames. Someone willing to commit." Still not looking at the other man.

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

"Arthur, I'm as loyal as they come. If I'm in something, I'm in with both feet, don't do anything halfway." This was, in fact, true. Even if, on occasion, it meant failing spectacularly, Eames owned that failure.

He shook his head then, "You know that, and if you don't, I'm sorry I never had a chance to prove it."

[littlspecificty]

Arthur wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling the cold his being wet generated. Shaking his head again, the realization hitting him then, making his stomach drop slightly, "Maybe I just can't trust anyone fully." He said it softly but knew Eames would probably hear it anyway.

But maybe that was why no relationship he had ever had seemed to work. Maybe it wasn't them at all. Maybe it had been him all along.

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

"You trust Cobb." Eames said with a slight shrug, "Which certainly proves that you can." He was choosing to ignore the 'fully' for the moment, since he suspected he hadn't really been meant to hear the statement at all, "I meant what I said, that I've never lied to you, and I don't intend to start. That was the best year of my life, and I've had some good years." There was a faint laugh there, shaking his head, "But if you say that's it, that was our only chance at it, there's no going back and no trying again, if you tell me that, and you mean it..." He shrugged, "Then I'll move on and leave you be."

[littlspecificty]

"I don't --" But then he stopped. The whole thought was that he didn't care about Cobb in the way he had come to care for Eames - it was different. Maybe that was why he was able to trust Dom more than Eames... Maybe. Arthur didn't even know anymore.

He leaned his head against the wall, wishing he had just kept his mouth shut now.

He had never even considered giving it another try with Eames. When he had said his goodbye he had prepared himself for that being it. That there was no going back. No second chance.

Now, at the possibility of it being there... Arthur wasn't sure he wanted to take it. And, somewhere in the very back of his mind, he wasn't sure he even deserved it. Wasn't sure he wouldn't waste it. If he couldn't trust Eames, no matter what Eames said or did, Arthur just couldn't trust him on his end, what kind of relationship would that be? Not much of one if their previous attempt had proven anything.

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

His brow arched slightly at the aborted statement followed by deep silence. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything just yet, not wanting to break whatever tenuous thread seemed to be making Arthur actually consider it. The movement was also an attempt to keep a handle on the flutter of hope that was blossoming in his chest, though that was harder to quash than his voice was, really.

He waited, holding as still as he could, barely even daring to breathe lest it disrupt Arthur's train of thought.

[littlspecificty]

Arthur let out a heavy breath, just curling into himself more as it became more clear in his mind why he had never considered trying a second time. With anyone.

Why the hell didn't the power just come back on already?

[neededforger.livejournal.com]

Eames sat back then, nodding once, taking the continued silence as an answer, though not the one he'd been hoping for it was, sadly, the one he'd been expecting, "Alright. Once we're out of here you won't hear from me again."

He wasn't sure, really, why it felt like he couldn't breathe. It had been a good year, the best year, and it had ended too soon, but it had ended, and he should have known better than to try and get it back. Time was slippery like that, couldn't go back once it had passed.